A little at a time...

We are starting to incorporate a few rituals at a time around here.  Most of them revolve around mealtime. 

I realized that often times, in fact most of the time, because Andy and I lead full, busy lives, we rushed through meal time.  Sometimes, I didn't even sit down while eating because I was too busy getting things for the kids, cleaning dishes before dinner was even served, thinking ahead to what needed to be done next, and so on.  Dinner ended up being this rushed, unsatisfying, often stressful occasion that ended up being more centered around what one of the kids was or was not eating.  Doesn't that sound lame?  I thought so too. 

So, we made some changes.  Now, we all set the table, we light a candle, we all sit down together, we say our Thankfuls (more on this later), and we eat.  Slowly.  We talk.  I stay at the table until everyone is done, and I encourage the kids to as well.  And, when we are finished, we blow out the candle, we all clear the table and do the dishes together. 

This requires me to shift my mind out of hurry, get the dishes done as soon as possible, find something for the kids to do while I do this.  Why do I have to do this?  Why can't I be playing with my kids?  I'm so pissed that it all falls on me.  I need some help around here.  Because when I am in that mind set, the rest of the evening has a hurried, stressed out vibe to it, which actually does not bode well for bedtime mood, as you can imagine.  So instead.  I start clearing the dishes and ask the kids to do the same.  They choose which job they want, wash, rinse or dry.  We made up a little song that we sing Clean, Clean, Clean, Clean.  Clean up all the dishes.  Make them sparkle, make them shine, clean them all the time.  Not terribly exciting I know, but we made it up, and the kids like it.  And, yes, dinner and clean up takes up a big portion of our evening, way more than it did before.  But, we play while doing the dishes, the boys play in the soapy water (which has the side benefit of thoroughly washing their hands), we tell jokes, we connect.  I am not resentful that I am doing everything.  We are doing it together.  And, they feel like they are important, helpful people in our household.  It is a meaningful experience.

And, the kids are learning how to run a household.  They are learning valuable skills.  Little by little our society is getting more convenience driven, so that kids are not learning skills like; cooking, mending, fixing, folding, polishing, etc.  All of these soulful tasks that require a person to use their hands, and to slow down a little, to care for something.  These skills and tasks are important to development, I would argue even more so then any organized enrichment activity that parents pay an arm and a leg for.  Family and human connection happen when we work together to keep the household running smoothly, and even the smallest of the smalls can participate. 

Have a lovely Wednesday.  More updates about the opening of Seedlings to come!