A little at a time...

We are starting to incorporate a few rituals at a time around here.  Most of them revolve around mealtime. 

I realized that often times, in fact most of the time, because Andy and I lead full, busy lives, we rushed through meal time.  Sometimes, I didn't even sit down while eating because I was too busy getting things for the kids, cleaning dishes before dinner was even served, thinking ahead to what needed to be done next, and so on.  Dinner ended up being this rushed, unsatisfying, often stressful occasion that ended up being more centered around what one of the kids was or was not eating.  Doesn't that sound lame?  I thought so too. 

So, we made some changes.  Now, we all set the table, we light a candle, we all sit down together, we say our Thankfuls (more on this later), and we eat.  Slowly.  We talk.  I stay at the table until everyone is done, and I encourage the kids to as well.  And, when we are finished, we blow out the candle, we all clear the table and do the dishes together. 

This requires me to shift my mind out of hurry, get the dishes done as soon as possible, find something for the kids to do while I do this.  Why do I have to do this?  Why can't I be playing with my kids?  I'm so pissed that it all falls on me.  I need some help around here.  Because when I am in that mind set, the rest of the evening has a hurried, stressed out vibe to it, which actually does not bode well for bedtime mood, as you can imagine.  So instead.  I start clearing the dishes and ask the kids to do the same.  They choose which job they want, wash, rinse or dry.  We made up a little song that we sing Clean, Clean, Clean, Clean.  Clean up all the dishes.  Make them sparkle, make them shine, clean them all the time.  Not terribly exciting I know, but we made it up, and the kids like it.  And, yes, dinner and clean up takes up a big portion of our evening, way more than it did before.  But, we play while doing the dishes, the boys play in the soapy water (which has the side benefit of thoroughly washing their hands), we tell jokes, we connect.  I am not resentful that I am doing everything.  We are doing it together.  And, they feel like they are important, helpful people in our household.  It is a meaningful experience.

And, the kids are learning how to run a household.  They are learning valuable skills.  Little by little our society is getting more convenience driven, so that kids are not learning skills like; cooking, mending, fixing, folding, polishing, etc.  All of these soulful tasks that require a person to use their hands, and to slow down a little, to care for something.  These skills and tasks are important to development, I would argue even more so then any organized enrichment activity that parents pay an arm and a leg for.  Family and human connection happen when we work together to keep the household running smoothly, and even the smallest of the smalls can participate. 

Have a lovely Wednesday.  More updates about the opening of Seedlings to come!

Thoughts...

Hello Again.  Just wanted to update you on my progress, thoughts, goals, etc.  As I start to imagine this further and work out details in my mind, I'm getting really excited to put these thoughts into action.  I am currently watching a few kids (2) at home, a couple of times a week.  It has been really great.  We have found a good rhythm, and things have gone along very peacefully.  We will have another friend joining us in January as well, and I would like to extend the invitation to anyone else who may need care for their child before May.  Because our little homestead is small, and does not have the modern amenities of most homes these days, I want to keep this group small, like four, max.  However, because the kids I have now are not everyday, I have room in my schedule to add more.  Let me know if you are interested.

On another note, I ran across this site as I was browsing around some different Waldorf sites, and it really struck a chord with me.  I ordered the book, Home Away from Home, and have been reading it a little at a time for the past few days.  I am envisioning Seedlings as being a mixed aged group; with infants, toddlers and a few preschoolers.  And, as I think about how this all is going to flow, I am realizing that setting it up as a preschool is not really the answer.  Keeping the space as much like a home as possible is the most nurturing way of providing care for this type of setting.  I love how this book refers to household duties as the domestic arts, and how it really emphasizes relationship based childcare.

Kids learn and thrive through imitation.  As they watch the adult do dishes, fold laundry, cook, care for an infant; they internalize it, incorporate it into their play, imitate, and eventually do the tasks themselves.  Of course this requires patience and a willingness on the adults part to create the kind of space where children can help with tasks.  Performing the tasks with meaning, reverence, care and sense of calmness; humming a tune while folding laundry for example, actually draws a child into your space.  I know because I have been doing this with the kids I have been caring for.  As soon as the energy shifts, usually because they need to contract a little (focus on an activity, rather then simply exploring), I invite them to do a task with me.  Here is the trick though, I don't ask with words directly.  I make up a song about the task I am doing and sing it next to them, really deliberately putting things away slowly and steadily, and guess what?  At least one of the kids, usually the one who is feeling direction-less, jumps in and does the task with me.  This is all done with joy, warmth, and love.  They totally pick up on it.  It is pretty awesome. 

So, if you are interested in more of this kind of care, you should check out the site.  I highly recommend the book as well.  

I am looking to start enrolling kids for Seedlings (for May start up) by February.  If you are interested in enrolling, please contact me.  I am working on hours and rates, which will be more flexible then I had originally planned, as I have realized that some folks have work schedule needs that were different then my schedule.  Also, I would love to keep my rates affordable, and will hopefully be able to accept Childcare Resources Best Beginnings scholarships as well.  When I have finished figuring that out, I will post hours and rates.  Please feel free to contact me about any questions.  I am available for meeting as well.